Tremble (verb): shake involuntarily, typically because of anxiety, excitement, or frailty; to be affected with great fear or anxiety; or Tremble (noun): a trembling feeling, movement or sound
Many years ago, shortly after celebrating my first wedding anniversary, I experienced some drastic changes in my health. It started with a light, but consistent, trembling in my hands. Next, a general sense of weakness in my legs, and a feeling of anxiousness compounded by a racing heart. My hair started falling out, and I was dropping weight quickly. The symptoms started slowly, but then gained momentum quickly and sent me to the doctor. The diagnosis confirmed by blood tests: Graves’ Disease.
Graves is an autoimmune disorder where the body mistakes the thyroid tissue as a foreign substance and starts attacking it. This activity stimulates the thyroid, causing one to become hyperthyroid (over-active thyroid). I chose radioactive iodine therapy as my treatment, which destroyed some of my thyroid cells, and left me with a partially-functioning thyroid and the need to take a thyroid-hormone replacement pill daily.
Throughout my diagnosis and treatment, I learned a great deal about the thyroid and about my own body. I was able to reflect on the symptoms I had experienced. The tremble of my hands was the first one I should have questioned, but I had chalked it up to excitement, stress, and newlywed bliss.
But now I’m older and wiser….
So, when the trembling recently reappeared, I acknowledged it quickly. I became curious about it immediately. I reflected on my earlier experience and searched for other symptoms. And then they appeared too – trouble sleeping, a sense of anxiety, hair loss. It was time to see the doctor again! My thyroid medication dose needed to be reduced, as I was again in a state of hyperthyroidism (I still am in the adjustment period as I write this).
With this recent episode of hyperthyroidism, the tremble in my hands became a constant reminder to me about scripture. The word “tremble” (and variations like trembling, trembled, etc.) occurs quite frequently in scripture, particularly in the Old Testament books.
Tremble before him, all the earth! The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved. 1 Chronicles 16:30
Should you not fear me?” declares the Lord. “Should you not tremble in my presence? Jeremiah 5:22
As my body has been physically trembling these past weeks, it caused me to stop and consider… what does it mean to “Tremble before God”? When I looked up the definition of tremble in various dictionaries, I found this: to shake involuntarily, typically because of anxiety, excitement, or frailty. What I love about this definition is that it expands my previous view of trembling primarily being caused by anxiety – and includes excitement and frailty as well.
To tremble before God is to have such awe, such respect, such appreciation, such gratitude, such dependence, such joy for the Lord, that our soul literally “shakes” at the thought, sight, and words of our Lord.
The challenge I face: Do I tremble before God?
- Is my relationship with Him so intimate, that I tremble at the thought of spending time with Him?
- Am I so excited to read His Word, that I tremble as I open my Bible?
- In times of weariness, weakness, grief…am I so dependent on Him, that I tremble as I let Him hold me?
Honestly, my answer to each of these questions is not a solid “Yes”. It’s more like “sometimes” or “maybe”. But a definitive “Yes” is the answer I desire.
I strive to tremble before Him, because I think He deserves it.
Perhaps He is using my current state of hyperthyroidism to show me the way of a trembling spirit? Or to remind me of the importance of trembling before Him?
[The Lord says] “These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word.” Isaiah 66:2
During this time of studying the word “Tremble”, I was reminded of an old hymn we occasionally sing at our church (and at many churches around the world). The hymn is called “Were You There”- it is a tender and beautiful melody with simple lyrics that invite us to take a journey through the last days and hours of Christ’s life. We join the crowd on the streets yelling for his crucifixion, the gathering of people at the cross observing His final breath, and the small few who watched the stone roll away from His grave.
When I listen to this hymn, I close my eyes and sincerely try to picture it – the crucifixion, the death, the resurrection – as if I were there. Only when I really let myself go in this moment, can I grasp that He died BECAUSE of me and FOR me. And then when my hands start to tremble, it’s no longer because of my hyperactive thyroid.
Check out this recording of “Were You There” by Johnny Cash
I hope it causes you to tremble.
Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness; tremble before him, all the earth. Psalm 96:9